Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Champagne anyone?

As soon as I deposit my check, and write another check, I will be the proud owner of a 1996 Volvo.

Too bad I don't get any lien release papers on this one, though. That was always the fun part.

Now to eradicate student debt and save for this year's storm chasing expedition.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

It appears I am still stuck in

Butiwantitmyway Land


Monday, February 26, 2007

Oh, why?

Why do I get such a thrill from reading the code book? Why do I enjoy it so much???

Ouch! (reprise)

Another grueling 37 miles. Whoa. My legs shot a rather biting "who's boss" message to me when I tried to move them this morning. They wanted to sleep in.

It was a good challenge. I wasn't expecting it to be so difficult, though. There was a stiff wind coming out of the south sunday, and being in the open countryside, there was little to block it.

I went to a new church sunday evening in Southlake to hear Phil Johnson preach. Good stuff. I will probably be attending there in the evening. I need to be fed like that. I need to be held to higher expectations spiritually. I need to be away from the lights, cameras (not kidding, I used to operate one), smoke machines (also not kidding), and shallow man-centered songs and messages. I mean, at Countryside Bible Church (where I visited) we sang from the hymnbook! Crazy stuff, man. I'm telling you. Of course, I had just finished my ride, so sitting still was nearly impossible. I was more fidgety than any three-year old.

But I couldn't sit down and NOT be bothered. Everyone around me asked me who I was, if this was my first time attending, why I was there, etc. I was then further blown away by the preaching. An exposition of Romans 7 (particularly the "why do I do what I do not want to do" passage) that explained why this was Paul describing himself post-conversion and not pre-conversion, using Paul's own words from his other letters. Some of it was over my head, but as I said I felt like I was expected to know some things going into this that I did not. Those things were doctrinal, I believe. Being the foundation of truth and what I believe. (Not to mention why I believe it).

I will leave some things to the big dogs. But when it comes to why we shouldn't be ignoring the importance of daily repentance from sin, I will stand up and say something.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Another Jeff-induced revelation

You know, when we are children and teenagers we believe everything that happened before we arrived happened just for us.

And then when we become adults we realize that no one before us actually knew we were coming, and no one after us will care that we were even here.

Another Interesting Idea

I should pray.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

An interesting idea

My friend Jeff and I were marvelling over the new sensation that is the Flea Market Furniture store on YouTube and Jeff says

"the most powerful informational tool man has yet created, and this is what we use it for."

And I could only reply

"you know what, I feel the same way about the church right now."

Although the church is not a man-created institution, and Christ is still building HIS church in the midst of everything, I still can't get past the circus I'm seeing in front of me. The seeker-sensitive. The "relevance" (idolatry)? The cutting off at the knees of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

After listening to the sermon last week from church, I'm just, well, sad.

My biggest beef was this: the church is expecting people who are unregenerate to want to join a community group. To want to fellowship with other believers. Unregenerate people don't want to fellowship with other believers. So we have to get them to join small groups on other pretenses. Talking about Jesus Christ would not be something they would be interested in, but they WOULD be interested in getting their felt needs met. So that is what the church is now leaning on in order to convince unregenerate (possibly unchurched) people they need to be in a community group. And for those who are truly unchurched (although the comment was made that this wasn't for them) they don't know anything other than that these community groups are for support and community. Community. I can't tell you how many times that word was used. But community outside of the actual body of Christ, ministering to the body of Christ (prophesying, teaching, exhorting, encouraging, administering mercy) is impossible, it seems to me. Because the church doesn't need a scrapbooking club when its spiritual moorings are worn to their threads. Community within the body of Christ is doing more than just meeting physical needs. We are to encourage and challenge, using the Scripture to reprove, rebuke and exhort!!

We've blurred the lines between what it means to be in Christ, and what it means to be of the world, unfortunately, and using biblical means of creating such an appropriate distinction would be too "divisive" and using man-made means would be easier. Of course we're going to use man's wisdom here.


Judgement Seat of Christ

Last night I listened to Leonard Ravenhill's 80 minute sermon on The Judgement Seat of Christ. Ravenhill makes quite a few poignant statements in his sermon, but my favourite is

Entertainment is the devil's substitute for joy.

I would like to return later to post additional statements that stood out during this message.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

On Theology


I just can't get past John 6:44 No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day.

I cannot get past John 17:9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours.

I cannot get past the word eklektos.

I am not saying that we are picked up and put where we ought to be, because I lived my life like that for too long, and it becomes confusing and dead after a while. The Spirit draws us, but I get the impression that there is motion on our part, too. It would be like walking into a fair and smelling popcorn and following your nose. God makes us hungry, and He provides the scent. We follow our nose, so to speak. But if we weren't made hungry by the father, we'd never be drawn by the scent. I hope that explains where I'm coming from.

I do not agree with the notion that we can sit on our haunches and say simply "well, I'm chosen, and you all aren't. sorry." I did that, but that is not living in the light; that is spiritual darkness still. And the Father, who calls, disciplines His children (oh boy does He ever). And I learned that I had to get up and start moving. But the spark of spiritual life within me was not an intellectual assent to a story I had heard from childhood, it was a rebirth attributed only to the gracious and merciful hand of God.

I will finish by saying that while I agree MORE with Calvinism, I think that creating a man-made framework to explain salvation causes frustration, confusion, and unnecessary arguments. Stick to the Word of God and accept that there are some things we simply do not know.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

On Salvation

I have been busier than usual, but not too busy to turn on sermons from my favourite preachers and listen to what they have to say. One such preacher is a man named Paul Washer. Last night I listened to his wife's testimony, and to a three-part sermons series on assurance of Salvation. It is basically his Examine Yourself sermon stretched out over three days of preaching with a lot more elaboration.

But it made me turn back to 1 John, and think about evangelism and Paul's shotgun methods we read about.

But then I read Philemon and it made me cry. He has led Onesimus to the Lord, and Onesimus has become so dear to him, he calls him his heart. Paul uses his authority in his letters so frequently, something I feel like my attitude is at times, of "why don't you see this? don't make me come back there!!". And in this letter, he is so tender in his reference toward Onesimus. He seems a bit stern to Philemon, reminding him of the debt (I'm assuming Paul's leadership) he owes Paul in his plea to free Onesimus and welcome him as a brother. His words may be taken as stern, but it is apparent they are flowing from a love deep within. And this is what made me cry. The Lord has been breaking my heart about Him, about His ways, and about LOVE. Love being Him and His ways. God is love.

So, I guess, truly, I could criticize Paul. I could call him a loose cannon. But then I realize that it doesn't matter!!! Paul LOVES!!! Paul has been shown incredible grace after persecuting Christians to the point of death. He knows all about mercy.

Now, I may struggle with attitudes and imperfections, but now I understand love. And this is the irony, that I used to struggle with knowing whether or not I was a believer or not. And then I read 1 John, and I see that I am. I have learned to love. I don't deserve this. And sometimes it doesn't hit me hard enough, and I fear I will boast on my own strength. But the truth is that as I see how much I ought to love, the strength of Christ fills me and gives me the ability to love. We are given the mandate, and we are given the ability to love.

I ought not look at the outside, at the methods (although I have noticed they are coming with increasing compromise to the full gospel message, to be sure), I ought to fight and in the end, stand. With all I have, which is all I'm given. I was looking at the outside, saying "the Lord wouldn't use this, He surely won't do that after I've/they've done this." And that was so unbiblical. The Lord looks at the heart, and when He sees a heart willing to serve Him (because He's put that heart in us, and quickened our soul by His mercy and grace) it doesn't matter what that heart has done before or will do in the future, the Lord is merciful and about His glory, and will use even the most broken instrument to play a hymn for His pleasure and magnification.

But to get an understanding of what I'm talking about, I'm linking below to three blog posts by Dan Phillips over at TeamPyro. He does a great job of explaining that it is all about God when salvation is concerned. We must not concern ourselves with the methods or the means, but we must be sure that the full gospel is presented (and knowing the full gospel is a good place to start). Read the Bible daily. Become familiar with all of it. Know it backwards and forwards.


Changing the world

Suddenly the world became larger yesterday, but in a good way.

I was thinking about our drives to change the world, and I realized how humanistic that idea is. I WANTED to change the world at some point. But then realized that the world is already doomed to destruction. It'd be an exercise in futility.

This placed me in a much smaller role than I had ever let roam the back of my mind before. I was now responsible for much less, but I was never more gravely responsible for anything before.

Now I am nothing; I am no one, really. The only identity I ought to claim is that which I have in Christ. And if that isn't enough, then i ought to reexamine whether i am really in Him to begin with.

And now, my responsibility is in my face. It's outlined. It's here. I can't avoid it by saying "well, the task's rather great; I ought to just be a philosopher about it rather than act on it. Others ought to listen to me."

My responsbility is my actions. I am faced with only one thing, really. And ought to refrain from filling up my life with other things. Because if I fill my life with other things, they make the really important things less so. And I feel less responsibility toward them. But when God removes everything and isolates in my life the only thing that matters, it becomes that much more important.

Monday, February 19, 2007

My God-given station in life

I often reflect on all that God has given me. And truly, I know that it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. And I truly envy those with lesser means, though I will probably not quit my job for a lesser one. I am obligated to a few lending institutions to repay debts I owe. However, as these verses below state, the fact that I DO have means puts me in a much lower position that those who do not. So before I ever think of myself as better than another, I must remember that only God has blessed me with the means to be where I am today and this ought to humble me even more, knowing how much closer to pride my feet are located. Having material means ought to quicken my speed to the Lord's side as I realize that forgetting His providence is a sin my feet may quickly stumble into. I ought to FEAR forgetting His hand in all things.

9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business. - James 1:9-11

7 "Two things I ask of you, O LORD;
do not refuse me before I die:
8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

and say, 'Who is the LORD ?'
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.
-Proverbs 30:7-9

Sunday, February 18, 2007

An unexpected find

In light of my weekend, I'm learning that those who do not love the things of the Lord WILL be deceived.

And that those who are the true church will be brought together to encourage each other. The Lord will orchestrate their encounters with one another to provide the true fellowship that exists between those who have EVERYTHING in common. And by that I mean everything that matters, mostly the Lord Jesus Christ.

They love to talk about Him. They love to learn about Him. They love to serve Him. They love to worship Him. And they want to grow in Him.

I went to a retreat this weekend mostly out of obligation. I lead a singles small group. But I wasn't sure I'd be all that impressed with the spiritual content. And I wasn't, to be sure. But I met someone who is equally concerned for the state of the church, and who shares an equal hunger for the things of the Lord. And THAT was the encouragement I needed. To be encouraged by someone else following the Holy Spirit. I think I am starting to understand what Paul says in 1 Thess 1. He didn't need to be harsh with them. He saw the work of the Holy Spirit in them and was gentle with them, knowing the correction would result from the leading of the Holy Spirit.

The empty chair

Our church sent out a letter churchwide a month back or so. In that letter, we were urged as a sunday school (small group) to pull out an empty chair as a reminder of who we could bring to church with us. A visitor. An unbeliever.

Maybe I'm treading on thin ice here. And if I fall in, may the Lord in His great mercy reach down and pull me out of the water.

But it seems to me that we are trying hard to get the unchurched, the unbeliever, into the church, through the church doors, because we have a message they need to hear. The CHURCH has a message they need to hear. Indeed, we do. I am not trying to negate that.

But if those who are the church do not know how to evangelize on our own, dare we say we do not even know what saves our own souls? If we cannot effectively communicate it (the gospel itself isn't that difficult of a concept) dare we say we are not ourselves saved?

That is a scary concept.

It's getting scarier by the minute.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Christ Himself Explains the Law

I had to listen to this twice.

I laid on the couch with the lights low, just listening. Just being fed. My bones felt so dry.


Laugh or Cry??

I really don't feel like typing out a whole lot at the moment. But I have something to say.

I have been anticipating a letter from the NCARB about my last test. I took the General Structures exam on January 22. I scheduled it in Mid November. My world dropped out from under me December 2. I began to recover the weekend before the exam (on a monday morning). I read the first three pages of my study manual in November, and I read one paragraph over and over and over again in Starbucks on a sunny sunday afternoon. Then I ditched the studying idea in favor of the beautiful weather and spent a few hours at the park on my bike. After the past two months, I needed it.

The letter I have been anticipating was not a favorable one. I went to the post box every day sifting through the junk for the letter. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Until today. I pressed the envelope close to the paper, but I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

PASS in large capital letters.

I opened the letter just to be sure.

Yes, I passed.

I don't know how to impress the severity of this situation upon anyone. I clicked away at a test I had already paid for (and couldn't postpone with any real anticipation of when I might feel up to studying again), and tried to think through, but walked away with much time left, and no real conviction about a majority of the answers I had given.

I called my mom. We discussed the situation. It's becoming clearer that I'm supposed to be a licensed architect. I have no real understanding why. Only God does. But I must submit and do this. And if I ever give the credit to anyone else other than God, well... that will be a dangerous word to utter. I can only drop to my knees now and say "Thy will be done".

In humor, though, I must say that I hope I am never asked to field verify any type of structural connections.

Matthew 6:33 - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

**EDIT** I AM happy, however. VERY happy. I ought to just drop any notion of gravity, and merely smile and rejoice.

In fact, I think I am going to do just that. Venti Starbucks, anyone? *grin*


I saw this t-shirt on a show (Mythbusters) while at a friend's house. I just LOVED the message. For someone who likes to rebut everyone's "why" with "why not" this is the perfect explana-tee.

This moment brought to you by Photoshop.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


I want to share something that was written in the following book foreword. It was posted on Pastor Ken's site, Apprising Ministries.

In the foreword to Leonard Ravenhill’s anointed book Why Revival Tarries A.W. Tozer wrote:
Great industrial concerns have in their employ men who are needed only when there is a breakdown somewhere. When something goes wrong with the machinery, these men spring into action to locate and remove the trouble and get the machinery rolling again. For these men a smoothly operating system has no interest. They are specialists concerned with trouble and how to find and correct it.

In the Kingdom of God things are not too different. God had always had His specialists whose chief concern has been the moral breakdown, the decline in the spiritual health of the nation or the church. Such men were Elijah, Jeremiah, Malachi and others of their kind who appeared at critical moments in history to reprove, rebuke, and exhort in the name of God and righteousness.

A thousand or ten thousand ordinary Old Testament priests or New Testament pastors and teachers could labor quietly on almost unnoticed while the spiritual life of Israel or the Church was normal. But let the people of God go astray from the paths of truth and immediately the specialist appeared almost out of nowhere. His instinct for trouble brought him to the help of the Lord and of Israel.

Such a man was likely to be drastic, radical, possibly at times violent, and the curious crowd that gathered to watch him work soon branded him as extreme, fanatical, negative. And in a sense they were right. He was single-minded, severe, fearless, and these were the qualities the circumstances demanded. He shocked some, frightened others and alienated not a few, but he knew Who had called him and what he was sent to do. His ministry was geared to the emergency, and that fact marked him out as different, a man apart.

Those who know Leonard Ravenhill will recognize in him the religious specialist, the man sent from God not to carry on the conventional work of the Church, but to beard the priests of Baal on their own mountaintop, to shame the careless priest at the altar, to face the false prophet and warn the people who are being led astray by him.

Such a man as this is not an easy companion. The professional evangelist who leaves the wrought-up meeting as soon as it ends to hurry over to the most expensive restaurant to feast and crack jokes with his sponsors will find this man something of an embarrassment, for he cannot turn off the burden of the Holy Ghost as one would turn off a faucet. He insists upon being a Christian all the time, everywhere; and again, that marks him out as different.

When I was a child, I wanted to be like the great men of the Bible. Now, ignoring the fact that I'm not a man, I still have that desire. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will listen to me. As a woman, I have a much gentler role to fulfill. It is one that currently needs attention, as I have a laundry list of "gentleness" shortcomings I'm trying to iron out (pun, yes).

But I still wonder, if I put off all that hinders, taking the grace to do so as it is handed to me (because only God can provide the grace necessary to become like Christ), and remain faithful and obedient (that obedience part being key) if I could become the voice for truth I always wanted to be. Surely in the past I suffered from misplaced zeal. I surely do now as well.

But if I focus on Him, on following the corrective measures He places in my life for my benefit, will I be counted worthy of suffering for the cross of Christ by countering the falsehood creeping into the church with the Truth?

I was reminded of this as I read through my journal, the one I took to church to write notes in. These notes were jotted down shortly before the Lord shook me out of my slumber. I looked back over them and found a lot of error that I had not noticed before. I wouldn't have anyway, because I was not wise to what was happening. But now I am wise to the subtle humanization of the church (growing more humanistic by the minute). Now I see the errors.

I know I must continue to grow in the knowledge of the Lord. I must continue to grow in my faith, crying out to Him for help when my feet slip. And I wonder if I haven't been placed in the line of contact as I have been for such a time as this? And if I say something, what then? And if I don't say something, what then? I've already received a rather nebulous response that I didn't know how to receive when it arrived, but now I have a much firmer argument against it. But what about that?

What do I do?

Love (part 3)


May I always remember that I am just a little child. May I seek to know nothing, even in my knowledge. Otherwise, I become prideful and break the first commandment over, and over, and over and over...

Love (continued)

It's actually presented here better than I could have.


I almost forgot it was Valentine's Day. It's just been that long since I've been romantically involved with anyone. Although I also think that now that I have a firmer grasp on what relationships are really all about, the whole market-driven romantic hooplah seems so empty and meaningless. I always KNEW I'd be very turned off by overly-sentimental displays of romanticism. Backbones are much more attractive than a pressed shirt and tie.

The things most singles dwell on this time of year just didn't come upon me. I almost felt apathetic toward it, although my statements above reflect why that may be the case. There is still this slight burning ember inside to get married one day, but I do want it to be for the right reason, and to the right person. I will probably always fight the temptation to fall into empty meaningless relationships. I must remember that. I'm a fallen, sinful human.

Lately, though, I've felt more of an intense drive to read my Bible, and to REMEMBER what it says, and to LEARN what it says and to APPLY what it says. To DO what it says. When I do this, the whole picture of Christianity, my belief, everything falls into place when I put it into practice. I begin to UNDERSTAND why I believe the things I do. They are no longer external "charms" on a bracelet, but they are who God desires that I be. Humble. Sacrificial. Loving. Considerate. Encouraging. Helpful. Faithful. Gentle. Meek. Submissive.

The righteousness that I've had lately was quite pharisaical. As I read 1 Thessalonians this morning, I was struck by Paul's gentleness with them during his visit. He never once mentioned correction or rebuke, but instead the love he showed toward them, as a mother loves her children. As I read that, I was impressed by the lack of harshness, completely devoid of strong correction. I imagined he was very encouraging in his exhortations to them, although correction was probably administered along with rebuke at times, when necessary.

But I imagined the "open door" policy that was probably in place. Nothing Paul was doing during his stay with them was probably ever more important than meeting their spiritual needs. He was probably never so tired to rule out a listening ear or an encouraging word to them when they came to him. He knew he had one purpose, and that was to point them to Christ. With the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives (which Paul notes was evident to him in his letter) Paul probably had a different demeanor than in the synagogues. He didn't NEED to be harsh; he could be gentle in his correction.

I have a friend like that. Yes, a real friend. He is the most humble person I know. Right now, his humility is probably the most striking feature to him. He is incredibly meek, but when roused he will stand for what he believes in. When he sees someone going in the wrong direction, he will gently lead them back. Even his rebuke is kind. He doesn't NEED to raise his voice or be harsh, because his life speaks volumes enough. If you don't know him personally, you'd think he was the weakest person, incapable of doing anything for himself. But he's accomplished far more than I ever have, or ever hope to.

In fact, Dr. Haugland is officially working in fast-food.

To be continued...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Note to Self

Die to self daily - or every 5 minutes if need be.

So cool!!!

Do you find languages interesting?

Have you always wanted a quick way to read the Bible in the original Greek?

Then go here!!

Monday, February 12, 2007

A New Kind of Peace

This morning I opened my Bible and ended up in Revelation, Chapter 13. I was so fascinated by it that I read all the way to the end.

What used to frighten me was now peaceful to read. The book of Revelation opens with these words:

1The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, 2who testifies to everything he saw—that is, the word of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ. 3Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.

I have a new kind of peace, one that is sinking deeper and deeper into me. Now, I still fear and revere the Lord God. We aren't to NOT fear Him. (Now, I KNOW this, but I don't always live that way, God help me.) Yes, He is a friend of ours now, but that is ONLY through the intercession of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is still a fearsome and awful God.

I remember conversing with a friend about how we always seem to come skipping gayly into the presence of God, yet I read that nowhere in the Bible. We are to approach the throne boldly. Not flippantly. We have a high priest on duty 24/7. But He intercedes between us and a God who is holy and righteous. There is none like Him.

So, read the book of Revelation. Read it with joy. Know that the perseverence of the saints will reap a great reward one day. It is the story of our final victory! But read it with reverent fear, because those around us who don't know the One True God will be subjected to all of God's wrath and fury. Knowing that, shouldn't we plead with them to seek after Him?

We plead with the mentally unstable to seek professional help. We plead with criminals during hostage situations to not harm anyone. Yet we don't plead with those who are standing in the way of God's wrath to turn from their sinful ways and pursue the Lord.

Regardless of whether one believes in election or not, the command Jesus gave was clear. That was to preach the gospel to every living creature.

If it has a pulse, it ought to hear this message.

Just trying something...

Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Bliss of Rebuke

Proverbs 17:10
A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding
Than a hundred blows into a fool.

Proverbs 24:25
But to those who rebuke the wicked will be delight,
And a good blessing will come upon them.

Proverbs 27:5
Better is open rebuke
Than love that is concealed.

Proverbs 28:23
He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor
Than he who flatters with the tongue.

Ecclesiastes 7:5
It is better to listen to the rebuke of a wise man
Than for one to listen to the song of fools.


37 miles...
ohhhhh.... I'm not in too much pain, though, Just vague discomfort.

Had an excellent conversation with a friend last night. He reminded me of my continual need to be humble in all things. Sometimes the humility part may not square with the topic, but that doesn't mean I'm not supposed to show it.

There are a LOT of things I'm supposed to do that I don't do. But forgetting that chapter in Romans on that, how about THIS one:

A Blind Beggar Receives His Sight
35As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. 36When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. 37They told him, "Jesus of Nazareth is passing by."
38He called out, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"
39Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"
40Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, 41"What do you want me to do for you?" "Lord, I want to see," he replied.
42Jesus said to him, "Receive your sight; your faith has healed you." 43Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

Luke 18:35-43

There are many many days I feel like this beggar. And when I don't, I ought to.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

For the Record

Thanks, Antonio, for the warning.

But I'm Reformed, too.

I'n fact, I was reformed before I knew what reformed was.

It just happens that once I did a little history check, someone else had previously outlined what I had always believed.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

A New Heart

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. -Ezekiel 36:26

You know, for a long time I thought that I could affect the change in my life, in my attitude, but now I know that this is simply not the case. I know because with as much effort as I've put into it, I made poor progress. Either I wasn't sincere, or I wasn't trying hard enough. The truth was that I was unable to make any changes within my heart. Only God is able to do that. So all of those times I was struggling with sin, or struggling with selfishness, I was struggling because I didn't ask for help.

Secondly, I couldn't affect change that was not within the will of God. I must conform my will to His will, and not pray for the opposite to happen. Too many times I prayed for God to fulfill MY wishes and will. I prayed that maybe, just maybe, what I was asking for would be His will, and if I was so lucky as to "guess" the right answer, >POOF< if would happen. Well that isn't the way it works. I mentioned in a post a few months ago that God has already revealed His will to us. And we are to conform our will to His. What is this will, you ask? Read here.

I have discovered more about the heart of God, what His will is, when I became fed up with my ineffective prayer life. I went searching for the "keys" to praying God's will. I hate to say they're "secrets" because nothing is hidden unless the Lord has chosen to hide them from anyone. And that is because they are wise in the eyes of the world, and foolish to God. Or it is because they don't read their Bibles. That's always a possibility these days. I will devote a post later to the "keys" to praying God's will. Heck, I might even write a book about it, although I doubt it will be very popular.

Le shelves

So these are the shelves I bought. The ones on the left atop the large bench drawer. I bought three of them (sans bench drawer) and stacked them all the way up to their 8' summit. They're full of books. For some reason, I don't think that's a terribly wise idea. I may change that arrangement soon. And I might even buy more.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

New books!!!

Last weekend I enlisted the help of two of my coworkers to take me to IKEA and do a little furniture shopping with me. The books had now commanded the floor of my apartment. There was little baseboard to be found anywhere. Not a bad design concept if you're over 5,000 sf. But I'm not.

I got these AWESOME shelves that aren't really supposed to be stacked as high as they are, but Thomas assembled them and secured them to the wall. They aren't going anywhere. Gorgeous, kinda modern, kinda outdoorsy... They take advantage of the high ceilings. I LOVE high ceilings (I just hate heating and cooling the space).

Three new books arrived today to be added to the family.

I'm excited about Cancun. Sitting on the beach, tanning, reading. ohhh, yeah.


27 miles

The most I've done since Christmas. I have GOT to get up to 40 comfortably. Mark told me I have to do "recovery rides" if I want to get my endurance up...

Perhaps the trainer and I will have a little slow dance this evening in my living room.

And I got my first flat. :(

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The "NEW" me

There is still some of the "old" me hanging around.

Please, Lord, give me the courage and conviction to evict the "old" me from the premises.

What I need is more courage.

Monday, February 05, 2007

As I find my heart sinking into this "reality" more and more every day, I find myself comforted by the only Comforter. Jesus Christ. Things are much more involved than I ever imagined. But I'm here now, and this was no mistake, I'm sure of it. At first I was extremely unsure of it, but now I'm more sure of it than ever before. The places I've been, the things I've learned. And maybe it has more to do with the way God made me, the way He created me to respond to Him. And that inner urge to fight for what I believe in. But it's not for some man-made "truth" but rather for the eternal. God has given me contentment to live in a solitary place for the moment to learn the TRUTH. And I must be aware that this time will not last forever, and I must make the most of it. I must endeavor to learn the most I can from His Word. I must learn as much as I can from history, and those who championed the gospel before me.

And I little backbone wouldn't hurt, either. *grin*

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Man's wisdom

What is man's wisdom?

Won't God use the foolish things to shame the wise?

Friday, February 02, 2007

What a difference

Suddenly, things seem to be a lot more serious than they were yesterday...

I must have been made of a very difficult clay to mold. I know Romans 9 says we are all made of the same clay (humanity) but I wonder if someone slipped some Portland cement in there somewhere.

I caved and agreed to go to Mexico with the company. Three days of cavorting on the beach in swimwear wasn't that appealing (although three days of tanning and reading books WAS), but as soon as I found out we'd be visiting "local area ruins", I couldn't pass that up.

I told them I'd rather take the three days off and go storm chasing.

What a nerd.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

You know what?

I look at all these hurting people, and I think...

I'm not hurting. I can remember when I did, but I don't anymore. And it's all because of Jesus. I wish I could make people understand that by just giving up their own way, and letting God receive the glory for all things done, that they can stop the pain from haunting their lives.

I am not in any pain.

This is amazing.

Thank you God!!!

The magic

Legumes are God's gift to the world. And I'm not being facetious here. They are amazing. When cooked properly, they provide amazing energy throughout the day. I can't believe the euphoria.

I am going to start my own "As Seen on TV" diet plan. Bicycling 4 days a week for two hours at a time, and a vegan diet. I'm telling you, the success stories will pour in!!!

A brilliant idea!!

So, if I purchase all of my light-weight gear from Australia, not only will I benefit from the exchange rate I will also benefit from their reverse seasons. So as winter begins to set in on them soon, I can order their reduced summer clearance just in time for the sunny days ahead in the Northern Hemisphere.

Quite brilliant, innit?