Thursday, December 28, 2006

Okay, I DO have something to say...

As I sit here mulling over things, I wonder if I was the only one who was taught the evils of post-modernism in college. The Christian college. The same Christian college now practicing those post-modernism guidelines it once heralded as fallacies. Is that like watching Desperate Housewives because it's not as bad as South Park?

Am I the only one who was taught post-modernism in high school by that (slightly) crazy lady who always ranted about her ex-husband and raved about her kids? Who encouraged us to read Walt Whitman, even though we were SUPPOSED to be reading Frost?

My education is a schitzophrenic panoplea of multiple-personalities. Jumping between secular and Christian education every other phase of life (including college). I got to compare them side by side in a way many Americans never did. Maybe that's why I am so restless. I cannot remember a time when things didn't change.

And now it is almost impossible to express myself. I see both sides again, but I cannot articulate the formula well enough to make it useful to anyone, so I just keep silent.

One thing is for sure, though.

Jesus is the Truth.

There is a Law.

There is a black-and-white way to do this. There must be. And that black-and-white way involves a relationship so deep one cannot even put a finger on it. There's no way I can see what's inside a person, but I can read their words. I cannot clearly point out someone's motives, but I CAN pull our motivations from the Bible.

I cannot know the thoughts of God. I can relax. Isn't that what faith is about?


In short, I'm a woman of few words these days. Many questions, but few answers. Formerly a woman of authority, now intellectually diminutive. I have but one Source.

Sitting here eating German chocolates, an assortment brought back to the U.S. by a friend. Very interesting, all the chemicals leaving their impression upon my tongue.

I have my Bible left to read tonight, then a bit of another book.

Then to study for the next exam on the 22nd of January.

No rest for the wicked.

Sorry, that's all I have right now.


Thursday, December 21, 2006

I would like to posit a dichotomous statement, please...

Family is nothing; the Lord God is everything.

You see, family can break apart. But God never forsakes us. Family is an earthly institution and cannot be wholly relied upon. But God is always reliable. Family is the means. God is the end. God instituted family, not the other way around. We respect our parents BECAUSE God requires it of us.

I hope that's clear.

Advice to young men

Thursday, December 14, 2006

In the Name of Purpose

Read it. And don't tell me I didn't warn you.

I couldn't have said it better...

I think I understand the role of the law in the life of Jesus Christ. He said himself that not a stroke of the law would be done away with (somewhere in Matthew). So does that mean we're still bound to the law? No, I believe it means He lived the perfect life, fulfilling every aspect of the law for us. I never understood that before. Now I do. Read the article.

Monday, December 11, 2006

I desire to be well known in hell...

With all that I disagree with my mom on, I know for sure she has a reputation there, and it's not a good one. I want that same reputation.

As I've been considering the events in my life of the past week, I've come to a few conclusions:

Spurgeon, Tozer, Edwards, MacArthur... they aren't wrong to preach about hell. We look at the Great Awakening with disgust at the fear it must have created in the country. In our time of peace in America, we have on clue what it means to fear anything. But we must fear God. There is only one way to heaven, indeed One way to heaven. Our culture has filled itself with a lifestyle of so much revelry we've forgotten the importance of sobriety. What we do is medicate ourselves until Jesus comes. That's what we've decided to do. We've medicated ourselves with movies, TV, music, all sorts of entertainment. We've forgotten that heaven and earth will all pass away, and one day we will stand before the Lord and be held accountable for our actions.

Jesus is ALSO merciful. I can't think of any other religion in the world which offers people such rich grace and undeserved mercy as Christianity. But we've been riding on His grace and mercy to the point of reveling in the same sins as those who do not profess to be Christians. We are not different. We have become assimilated. We are not aliens. We do not provide salt. We do not provide light. We watch the same movies, we listen to the same music, we even dress the way they dress. Our words are not often seasoned with grace. We are not different.

The amount of repentance in my own life has been staggering.

I had to repent from blasphemy. The idea that the Blood of Jesus has enough power to save my soul from hell, but not enough power to shake anyone else out of their slumber. The idea that I could neglect time in the Word and still be close to my Lord. The idea that I could be like the world and still be effective, still store treasure up in heaven. We must not stop short of just not depending on our possessions, but must even go so far as to let go of them and not even bat an eye at material goods.

I had to repent of not spending enough time in prayer. Not enough time in the Word. You know, nobody told me I had to spend hours per day with the Lord. NOBODY TOLD ME THIS!!! And I can't blame anyone but myself, for if I had followed the prodding of the Lord when He wanted me with Him, I would have learned on my own.

I just makes me sick to think of it.

Jesus did not come to bring peace, but division. (Luke 12:49-53, Matt 10:34-36)

Jesus preached "repent or perish." (Luke 13:1-5)

God's patience with us WILL run out. (Luke 13:6-9)

I know this may sound cruel, but I've always believed that God will cut down those who do not bear fruit. We are His planting. Nothing can grow that the Lord does not make grow. But if we do not bear evidence of that growth in our lives (fruit) we will be cut down and thrown into the furnace. Why don't we EVER explain this? Our church has done a grave disservice to its congregants by not mentioning this to them.

So what then? We've been dishonest with our Lord's possessions. He catches us in our dishonesty through conviction by the Spirit. And what then? Read Luke 16:1-13. We love verse 13, but we ignore the story it's tagged onto. And we don't want to hear it either, no one does, that they may lose everything because of their dishonesty. But this parable says to be shrewd. We are all dishonest, but respond and repent. This dishonest manager did just that. He didn't lose his job (from what is written in Luke) but the master commended the manager for acting shrewdly. He was commended!!! I had such a hard time understanding this. I was listening to Luke on CD when I heard this and i shut it off because I couldn't understand why the master would commend such a dishonest man. What was Jesus preaching, for heaven's sake!!! But i wasn't listening with my spiritual ears. I was blind and deaf to the Spirit. But He heard my cries for explanation! We CAN be taught by the spirit. We do not always need a commentary if our hearts will not hear the lesson in the first place.

Read the Word.

And do not look to men, but to God. He is all you need to please.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Something to say...

I've finally found something to say.

I was listening to the radio's smorgasbord of Christmas tunes and listened to Amy Grant belt out "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year".

It is?


I know a number of people who would openly debate the subject of when the most wonderful time of the year really occurs, and I'm sure they'd leave out the Christmas holiday season. For them, the holidays are a time of family strife and battling heightened traffic volume. Additionally, with the continued decline in the government's willingness to acknowledge this season's true meaning (remember that, ironically, Christmas is a holiday recognized by the Federal government), few people actually ruminate on the happiness that this season is all about.

I wonder if eventually we will forget all about the event of the coming of Christ, and why it is a season to be observed with dilligence and scrutiny. We idolize the ideas of family and togetherness, placing them on the front of a Christmas card and glorifying them in televised advertisements. We place these ideas on a pedestal, but refuse to give them room in our hearts because our hearts are so stained with sin. And what is at the root of these values?

If we were to unearth their origin, we'd find Jesus.


Yet we're so afraid to lay down the hard line of the truth about Who He is.

We should be ashamed of ourselves, just as He will be ashamed of us.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

There's just not much to say

There really isn't. Not right now at least. And I don't want to say anything empty simply to hear myself talk. I've been doing a lot of that lately. My fingers are growing restless, to be sure. They're aching to deliver some grand idea or concept, to shake the very foundations upon which rest the sleepy souls of men. But right now my fingers are resting while my mind attempts to chain down for a moment the thoughts that seek to blow it apart.

Ephesians 6: 10-18 -- 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Just Let it Go

Last night we rode a different route. From Pantego, we usually trek south into Kennedale. But this time we rode east to Fort Worth. In fact, we rode from Pantego to Sundance Square. What a night!!!!

I made the unforgettable misake of leaving the seat-pack un-zipped. With my car key in it. Needless to say, by the time we were halfway to Fort Worth (on the I-30 service road, no less) my friend Delfin discovered my loss.

But here is where things actually got better. Because instead of worrying about it and turning around to search, I just let it go. Taking a look at the bigger picture, I revolved to finish the ride into Fort Worth and search for the key later. It wouldn't become less lost were I to turn back sooner and were I to worry.

Long story short, I found the key where I asusmed it might be: at a location where we had to turn our bikes on their ends to walk through a gate opening.

Praise the Lord. He really is "My God Saves".

*EDIT* I had a fantastic time on the ride. I enjoyed every minute of the thrill-seeking 33 miles!!!

Monday, December 04, 2006

On fire

Do you remember feeling that burning passion within? When you feel incredibly zealous for something, this burning feeling usually accompanies your desire.

Otherwise, we feel like we've been doused with water. We feel somewhat soggy. And even in the heat of the day, we maintain a lukewarm temperature within.

Do I feel a burning passion for Jesus?

I have to stop here and be honest... not yet.

But I think sensing the void is only the first step of many.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

A prayer

Found in the breast pocket of a Civil War soldier shot at Gettysburg:

"I asked for strength that I might achieve. He made me weak that I might obey.
I asked for health that I might do great things. He gave me grace that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy. He gave me poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. He gave me weakness that I might feel a need for God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. He gave me life that I might enjoy all things.
I received nothing I asked for. He gave me everything I hoped for."


Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Midwest Blasted with Snow! Storm Blamed for 3 Deaths!!!

Okay, so, when are we going to STOP sensationalizing the weather!?!?!

Even more, when will we stop villifying the weather!!!!

I love winter, but I HATE it when the news media responds to Midwest snow storms as they would to a terrorist attack!!!

Millions without power!!! Oh? If they live in the Midwest, they should be prepared for that. I'm sorry, but when did it become un-common sense to stock up for emergencies? Secondly, do what you can, and take the rest of the day off!

We shouldn't respond to these situations with such indignation as arises when we realize we don't have enough snowplows to clear the 18 bajillion miles of new streets the city planning department approved. Sounds like a communication error that should be taken up with your councilman/woman. Otherwise, stop complaining.

What? Our kids will have to stay home from school??? My response to that is "snow days". Spending a few years in Nebraska will get anyone accustomed to the concept.

In completely unrelated, less sensational news, I have apparently done all within my power to kill myself with a Starbucks latte. Gives "death by coffee" a new meaning.

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