Ruminations and Ramifications

Stolen

I stole this from a friend's blog, because I don't think he could be more right. I've known this "kid" since not too long after he graduated from high school... I admit, it was a little strange hanging out with someone 8 years my junior. But I got used to it. And I forged an amazing friendship with an amazing person as a result.

And now, here's a word from Captain Impossible:


I often read that people think they can solve social and political issues by human means, that we can improve ourselves. Can we? Here is what I have seen. I have seen fad diets come and go and still every day I watch as more and more people in this nation are diagnosed as obese. I've seen countless self-help books that promise to make you a better person in a certain amount of time, yet violence and depression are on the rise. I've seen conferences, summits, and revolutions to end hunger or poverty or anything else, and I've seen all kinds of statements and promises come as a result, and then watched as absolutely nothing changes. I've seen that the harder we try, the more we fall on our face. Think of it this way. You are trying to remove red dye put in a glass of water. You can try anything from chemical additives to filters, but try as you might, that water is still dyed and it's going to stay that way. It's not until you give up, dump out the dyed water, and ask for a brand new glass of water that you're ever going to see pure water. Everything is broken, and can't really be fixed. That is why all things must be made new.

Labels: friends, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 1:35 PM 0 comments

Like a Child...

As I've had time lately, I've been diving into different aspects of my faith. I don't exactly have the time to fully explore their implications on what I believe, but I think it's important to know what's out there.

I will have to say this first. No doctrine or theology can dilute the Word or substitute the atoning sacrifice of Jesus and be considered a sound doctrine. I mean, as much as I HATE discussing doctrine (a waste of time IMHO), it's true that no matter what you believe, you hold to a doctrine.

But the reality of it all is that as much as we like to break down the scriptures into their original Greek and Hebrew text (which I find fascinating, really) the truth is that the message is really quite plain. Nothing in the Bible is hidden from view. It's meant so that anyone with the attitude of a child can comprehend the message of faith in Christ. He is so beautiful to those who aren't caught up in their own pride and selfishness. His sacrifice is what we are all looking for. His acceptance of all of us as we are, and His compassionate encouragement for us to be all He created us to be, is what we're dying for.

I was researching dispensationalism, and my head nearly exploded. Now, I love a good friendly debate, and I love researching deeply. But after a while, I felt like I was reading into something that had nothing to do with the message of the gospel. And I felt like all the arguments I was reading for or against were all just men trying to prove a point that had nothing to do with saving a lost soul.

Am I wrong?

Labels: practical theology, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 10:54 AM 1 comments

I dare you to move

I've not been one to post song lyrics in the past, but it's been with increasing frequency that I've been hit with a song that made me think. I would love to post something with deep wisdom to knock everyone over with, but I'm honestly not caffeineated enough at this point...

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

Labels: this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 9:11 AM 0 comments

Sir Elton: Ban organised religion

http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6140710.stm

Who are we as Christians that would make this man (and others like him) feel the heat of hatred from Christians rather than the refreshing coolness of compassion? When will we stop getting so wrapped up in making ourselves happy and self-medicated that we have time to examine our actions toward others? When will we

turn off our iPods?
shut off our TVs?
eject our CDs?
stop going to the movies?
stop mindlessly surfing the internet?
stop checking our email?
put down that cup of Starbucks and cease our self-aggrandizing pseudo-intellectual conversation?
quit communicating uninformed judgments about people to those around us?
stop being "okay" with where we are?
start living passionately?

When will we give God more than just a passing thought during the day? Don't you know He gave us more than a passing thought when He sent His son to die for us?

I was listening to a message last night given at the S. Baptist Convention of Texas meeting. And I checked my Greek to verify it. The word used for "zeal" happens to be where we get the word "canine" from. Our DOGS give us more than a passing thought!!!

For Jesus Christ's sake (and I mean it literally here), when are we going to put down our self-medication and come to the one true Healer???

Labels: this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 11:26 AM 0 comments

Find us Faithful

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Chorus:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift though all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

---------------------------------
This song was sung on the radio this morning. When I hear it, as I age, I can't help but look at the lives who have gone before me and marvel at their faithfulness. Indeed, these people had no immediate hand in turning me toward the Lord. But their constance and strength and endurance in the race, their persistence, it all comes together to form a picture of who I'd like to be.

I realize that I have much of my life's slate still untouched. There's a lot of the story that hasn't been written yet. There are a lot of opportunities that have yet to materialize. But my one prayer is that as I just do what I'm supposed to do, when I just glorify God with my life, when I let others know through my actions just "what" is most important to me, I hope that my life is slowly transformed into something defined as "faithful".

Labels: this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 8:20 AM 0 comments

Idolatry

You know, it is so easy to make people and things into idols. You don't have to set up physical shrines to them, but you CAN do so mentally. Shrines are a place where the spiritual focus is to be directed toward. A shrine for God belongs in the heart. And He is the only One who should occupy that sacred space. He is the only one to whom our energy should be focused. Not on a single thing or person. Not on a job or loved one. Not on an activity or pursuit. If we long to have certain spiritual emptiness filled by something temporal, we will always be disappointed. Furthermore, God will only frustrate those efforts of those He loves. We were bought with a price. And now we belong to Him. He has placed His seal on our hearts. We have no need to wander from our First Love; we have no need to divert our attention away from our heart-shrine.

Labels: this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 10:25 AM 0 comments

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

When you are not being used for the purpose for which you were created, you are GOING to feel off, you are GOING to be depressed, you are GOING to feel lost...

I was created to eat a certain way. When I DIDN'T do that, I felt AWFUL!!! And when I go back to that way of eating, I STILL feel AWFUL!!! I turn down so-called "whole grain" breads and crackers and other packaged/processed foods with that label because I HAVE to eat the grain right off the plant. Not many foods labeled "whole grain" pass my test. But when I cook rolled rye in the morning for breakfast, it lasts me all day long. I eat beans like they're going out of style. And I'm healthier and thinner for it.

My spiritual diet is the same way. I cannot subsist on a diet of gossip columns, media talking-heads, movies, music and talk-radio that is not uplifting and expect to have a good outlook on life. I cannot expect to be alive for much longer that way. That's junk food for the soul. I just become spiritually fat and lazy. I need three meals a day of spiritual vitamins and roughage. I need long sessions of imbibing spiritual truths from the Bible. And I can't make this an "if it gets done, it gets done; if not, then not" activity, either. If I did that, I'd be as big as a house!!! I'd be looking for the first thing to satisfy or satiate me, which in today's modern diet would be processed foods, fried foods, etc. Instead, I have to prepare my meals. I have to carve out time and put aside other things in order to cook the food that is necessary for me to have a high quality of life. I can't say "if it gets done, it gets done." If I said that, I would likely NOT be committed to this lifestyle. And again, I'd be as big as a house!!! The length and quality of my life literally depends upon this!!!

What do we grab as "fast food" for the soul? What do we fill our lives with that has no nutritional value to it? But what it DOES have sticks with us... the artery-clogging evil of fear and sin that is celebrated and glorified by the world. Instead of spending time with the Lord to meet our nutritional needs, we seek out entertainment that is full of fat and empty calories.

Am I right?
--------------------------------------

There's within my heart a melody
Jesus whispers sweet and low:
Fear not, I am with thee, peace, be still,
in all of life's ebb and flow.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
sweetest name I know,
fills my every longing,
keeps me singing as I go.

All my life was wrecked by sin and strife,
discord filled my heart with pain;
Jesus swept across the broken strings,
stirred the slumbering chords again.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
sweetest name I know,
fills my every longing,
keeps me singing as I go.

Though sometimes he leads through waters deep,
trials fall across the way,
though sometimes the path seems rough and steep,
see his footprints all the way.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
sweetest name I know,
fills my every longing,
keeps me singing as I go.

Feasting on the riches of his grace,
resting neath his sheltering wing,
always looking on his smiling face,
that is why I shout and sing.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
sweetest name I know,
fills my every longing,
keeps me singing as I go.

Soon he's coming back to welcome me
far beyond the starry sky;
I shall wing my flight to worlds unknown;
I shall reign with him on high.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
sweetest name I know,
fills my every longing,
keeps me singing as I go

----------------------------
Where did I go wrong? When did the focus of my life move away from Jesus? When was the focus of my life ever ON Jesus to begin with???? Why is Jesus such a sweet name? How does He fill our every longing?

When will I just let go and accept all this?

Labels: God's Word, this is me before, veganism

posted by Marcian @ 1:45 PM 0 comments

When the honeymoon is over

There comes a point in relationships when you move past hinging everything on the emotional side of love, and start making moves out of the action of love. Now, I'm not sure if it's normal to not really "feel" that love emotion behind the action.

And I am referring to my relationship with God here. We've moved beyond the "honeymoon" stage, but I've expected that to carry me through the growth process, and it's not. The growth process involves me taking the initiative to take certain steps in His direction, which I have not. I've been feeling just so incredibly distant from God lately, and last night during my Bible study, God gently reminded me that we needed to accept that the "honeymoon" was over, and that He and I were at a place where the rubber meets the road.

Now this is a concept I am completely foreign to. I've always been a very selfish person, and continue to struggle against putting myself first. And when it comes to relationships, I expect them to grow without any effort on my part. But maybe my relationship with God would be a bit stronger, a bit healthier and more robust, if I began to look at it that way.

But now I know what it feels like to give up. Now I know what it feels like to have all the life drained from you and to not resist it. It's not a good feeling. It's a very sickly and death-like feeling. And depression arrives on its wings. Is this the valley of the shadow of death?

Labels: God's Word, marriage, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 10:08 PM 0 comments

Shakeup

My friend Debbie said that sometimes we just need to shake things up in our life. I feel that this is one of those times. I don't take things seriously enough because not only have I found the groove, I've found the rut.

Please, God, let me out long enough to take a fresh breath. Shake things up a bit. Let me pull the pieces loose long enough to rearrange them correctly with a fresh perspective.

Labels: friends, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 12:11 PM 0 comments

Want Victory?

24Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures. 25He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and he spoke with great fervor[b] and taught about Jesus accurately, though he knew only the baptism of John. 26He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately. Acts 18: 23-26

My Greek-Hebrew study Bible has this word underlined with a reference number to the actual Greek word and meaning in the back. The Greek word used here for "thorough knowledge" is dynatos, which sounds convincingly similar to "dynamite", a powerful explosive. The list of words include:

to be able
have ability
possible (based on power)
powerful
able
the Mighty One

A word that comes to mind is also dexterous.

I like to think that I have a "thorough knowledge of the code". What that means is that I can find whatever I need to find in the code book. It is powerful! People come to me because if I don't know what the answer is immediately, I can open the book and find the answer immediately. I can speak knowledgeably with code officials about their interpretation, and where I find other instances in the code to back up my interpretation of certain sections.

Shouldn't my Bible knowledge be this powerful? How did I get this way with the code? By reading it DAILY and applying it DAILY. The application part goes so far, I can't even begin to extoll its virtues. It's amazing. It becomes a powerful tool in our hands. Mere knowlege won't get us far if we don't learn to apply it.

------------------------------------------------------

"when pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all." ---CS Lewis


When will we start applying His Word by showing others the love of God?

We all experience pain. But I have learned that my pain is lessened by the degree to which I show God's love to others.

Labels: God's Word, practical theology, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 7:31 AM 0 comments

Corn Chips and Real Life

Okay, let me warn you all. Corn chips are addictive. I can't believe I spent $4.50 on this bag of air-filled corn chips, and now I can't believe I want to spend another $4.50 for another bag. They're like cigarettes. I'm sure there's some unidentified addictive substance in them.

Second of all...

Let's talk about real life. And let me only say that it is slowly becoming not what I thought it would be. I think as children and teenagers we look at adults as some sort of deities who have mastered the ability to make the humdrum exciting. And we get to the event and it's merely humdrum. Nothing exciting about it.

Dreams get dashed pretty easily. Ideas we had are not always reality. In fact, a good percentage of them are not. And I have found myself consumed by knee-jerk reactions lately because life wasn't what I thought it was. God has started taking the reins, but I really can't say I liked where we were heading. There was desert out there. I wasn't sure there would be a drink of water for days. And yet I trusted. But that trust was interrupted by a few brief episodes of reactionary behaviour. I find that I still long for the instant gratification. I am still a card carrying member of the entitlement generation, one who wants her needs and desires and wishes filled RIGHT NOW. And who believes that the only way to true happiness and fulfillment is to make an immediate exodus out of those places in life that ARE mediocre.

But the key is not running from distraction to distraction. Instead it is maintaining a slow and steady pace. I've learned a lot of that through cycling. I had NO IDEA the learning experience I was buying into. I just knew I was dropping a grand on a bike I'd always wanted. See? Instant gratification episode right there. BUT, God stepped in and taught me a lesson with it. He taught me through my rides just how important downshifting is if you want to reach your goal. I can't expect to finish 30 miles on a high gear. There are miles and miles and miles of low-gear riding. I wasn't expecting that at all. I left the gear on my last bike to the highest possible (and probably damaged my knees in the process). I didn't learn about down-shifting until I bought this bike and had 27 of them to choose from. And now I never go 30 seconds without checking my cadence and adjusting my gear if necessary.

And that's what real life is. It's a low gear. It's a constant steady cadence. It will get you to the finish line.

Labels: cycling, marriage, this is me before, veganism

posted by Marcian @ 2:40 PM 1 comments

Tripwire

Satan LOOOVES to use tripwire. It's nearly invisible, it's effective, and it gets you completely DOWN, which is where he wants ya.

Such a description is frightening. It's invisible, but not undiscernible; it's effective, but not permanent; it gets us completely down so we can't see anything but what is on the ground with us, and it requires some effort to get up, but it's not impossible to overcome. It just doesn't look too good from where we are at the time.

I think this requires us to boost our technology. Night vision goggles, radar detectors, the whole bit. How do we do this? By staying completely in the Word, through constant prayer (which goes hand in hand with the Word. If you're not reading nearly as much as you're praying, you might want to rethink strategies), and through fellowship.

I've been hit by the tripwire. And it sucks. It's kinda dark, so I'm not sure how far down I am, but I can discern where the tripwire is, so next time I hope I can avoid it.

Labels: God's Word, practical theology, prayer, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 4:35 PM 2 comments

The Irony: posted

You know, giving is so much more fulfilling than receiving. It's fulfilling in a way that receiving never was, and never can be.

Labels: this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 2:09 PM 2 comments

Dreams

The kind of dreams I have that I hope come true are more the ones where I've published a book or two, and I'm teaching in the university system.

I'm currently compiling (slowly) research on the history of building codes. As it turns out, there isn't a comprehensive history to be found ANYWHERE, and if I can't read one, I might as well try to write one.

Then there's law school. It's creeping back into my brain right now, though I wish it would go away. Now is not the right time. Definitely. I'm thinking about grants (because SMU is EXPENSIVE, and I don't want to get another OU degree), though I'd have to quit my job to get them, and I'd have to be in school full time. Neither of those was I contemplating, to be honest. But maybe a good three-year sabbatical from work would do me good... perhaps get me to focus in a direction? And maybe I can work my research on building codes into that degree? Perhaps do a dissertation on it?

There's something strangely comforting about an academic existence. It's the fabric I was cut from, to be sure.

I think I can also get grants to write that book. From whom, though? ICC? The government? What government official will lobby for a comprehensive history on code development?

I can't move forward on ANY of this until the registration is secured, though.

Labels: architecture, building codes, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 10:41 AM 0 comments

Living the Adventure

Last night happened so fast, I really couldn't stop it...

I showed up at the bike shop to embark on my very first group ride. I showed up early, though, and found myself blurting out to the manager that I wanted to change out the pedals and shoes to a clipless system before we left. I really don't think my mind had any say in this move; it was all my mouth.

So here we are. It's my first time out with a pack. I have no clue where we're going or how long we'll be gone. We're safely maneuvering down semi-busy streets. It's dark. It's raining. And I'm negotiating my way along, now "one" with my bike.

AHHHHH!!

Only fell once. Threatened to a few more times before I realize that I CAN get out of the other pedal if I remember to do so before my centroid moves beyond the point of no return.

What an adventure.

Labels: cycling, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 8:10 AM 0 comments

Find me on the practice field

As I consider life and all that it has to offer, I can't help but consider marriage. Now, I realize that I am unique and important independent of a relationship. I have a lot to offer independent of a relationship. On any given day I've got a million things I want to try out on this planet before I die. Heck, just today I was revisiting my desire to get my law degree. But I digress.

If you're anything like me, sometimes you have to be reminded several times to do something. Especially if it's not anything high on your priority list. Well, God knows this and sometimes has to introduce something in a repetitive manner in my life in order for me to catch on. He did that with a book in the sidebar here, When God Writes Your Love Story. It's been an intriguing read so far. It's definitely spoken to me.

The part that coincides most with where I am in life (besides, well, all of it) is the part about the family.

When we condition ourselves to run away and disown those who are most familiar with us, we're preparing ourselves for a disastrous future. Our lives consist of relationships. God designed us for family. Intimate family relationships are among the most difficult things we must deal with as humans, because closeness leads to the exposure of who we really are, inside and outside. We young people have a very short period in our life that God seems to give us for practice.

Family isn't just in our past; it's very much in our future, too. And I guarantee you that if you train yourself to model Christ now to those most familiar and close, you will be superb at it when you get married.

Family is our practice field. We take into our future marriage what we learn in our life with "them" [meaning our immediate families] in the here and now. If we learn to snub and disown those closest to us now, we're setting habit patterns for broken trust and emotional heartache in the future. If we train ourselves in the here and now to verbally abuse our family members, we will be conditioning ourselves to bite rather than bless in the future.

Isn't that the truth? If I could re-type out this whole chapter on the family, how our immediate family tends to receive the brunt of the darkest end of the spectrum of who we "truly" are, I would. But I think you should just read the book.

Labels: marriage, practical theology, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 9:04 PM 0 comments

Conditional Logic in the Bible

Before I drift off to sleep to the sound of the rain lightly beating the shingles of my third floor aerie flat, I thought I'd jot a quick note about a verse I've been mulling over lately, and the implication of conditional logic on its veracity.

To the Jews who had believed Him, Jesus said, "If you hold to My teaching, you are really My disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32

Now, I've heard the second half of this passage all my life. In fact, I think that many who do not claim to be followers of Christ have heard this statement: You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.

But I beg a second look at this concept, in its entirety, which happens to be Christ's own words. Looking closely at the entire context of this statement, it appears we have a conditional logic statement. Basically, that is an if-then statement.

If P, then Q.

We use conditional logic every day without thinking about it.

If you leave your headlights on, then your car battery will be dead.
If you don't put your perishable food in the fridge, then it will rot.
If the internet connection isn't working, then you won't receive your email.

How about this one:
If P, then Q.
If Q, then R.

If you leave your headlights on, then your car battery will be dead.
If your car battery is dead, then your car won't start.

Therefore,

If you leave your headlights on, your car won't start.

And so on...

Consider the conditional logic in this verse:

If you hold to My teaching, (here's the antecedent)

you are really My disciples. (this could be an antecedent or a consequent)

Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. (here's a consequent)


Basically, what I have to say is this: maybe you're the same way as I am. You've wondered why you haven't felt truly "free". Well, upon reading this verse, I don't think freedom is supposed to come without a price. I can complain about not feeling truly "free" and wonder when this glorious "freedom" is supposed to arrive, but the consequent must have an antecedent. And in this case, the antecedant is that we hold (actively) to Jesus' teaching. That we become a disciple. Only THEN can we know the truth; only THEN can we be set free. Lately, I haven't been much one to hold to His teaching. I haven't been carrying my own load (Gal 6:4-5).

So, to all you fellow left-brained, highly analytical peeps out there, I feel your pain. You want a formula so badly you can taste it. Well, I'm happy to say that Christ obviously knew that people like us would one day be running around with our pocket calculators and Excel spreadsheets trying to make sense of the world. With as uptight as our kind can be, it's uplifting to know that our Saviour thought of us, and was kind enough to leave us a bit of hope in such a simple formula.

Good night.

Labels: practical theology, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 12:51 AM 0 comments

I lessthanthree teh IBC

Okay, that is total 1337 speak for: "You are my world, IBC. I pledge my undying devotion to your regulatory oversight."

Well, maybe not THAT devoted.

You know what? Life is too short to live in ph33r of the unknown. Sometimes, you have to take a little leap of faith. And not be afraid to fall. To go for broke. I'm going for broke on this one.

I figure, those who are afraid to fall usually push off with a little bit of hesitation. And they don't give these things their all.

Here's to the leap, and whatever follows...

Labels: architecture, building codes, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 6:06 PM 0 comments

Who am I? Where am I? What am I?

A good friend of mine gave me a timely reminder that I'm a thinker. Perhaps all of this sitting and grunting and sweating to the mouse pad and keyboard has skewed my thinking somewhat.

The cloud lifts moment by moment, day by day. I'm drooling over the engineering section of the ICC's product catalogue. I want to make structures out of food products.

My mind goes back to the Bailey's Crossroad project. I KNEW we could get away with putting those dwelling units by the garage. I KNEW the code equivalency could be met. And I did it. I read and I argued and I proved my point. And we won, you know? Sure, I had to draw a few lines here and there. I didn't enjoy THAT part, to be honest.

I just don't think I went to grad school, wrote endless papers and midterms, researched and compiled an original thesis, so that I could sit here and draw lines all day.

Labels: architecture, building codes, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 12:02 PM 0 comments

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am so sick and tired of being about what I want to be about. I have a feeling that being what YOU want me to be about will be much better than this. Heck, ANYTHING has got to be much better than this. Change me, please?

Your Daughter.

Labels: practical theology, prayer, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 12:28 PM 0 comments