Ruminations and Ramifications

When the honeymoon is over

There comes a point in relationships when you move past hinging everything on the emotional side of love, and start making moves out of the action of love. Now, I'm not sure if it's normal to not really "feel" that love emotion behind the action.

And I am referring to my relationship with God here. We've moved beyond the "honeymoon" stage, but I've expected that to carry me through the growth process, and it's not. The growth process involves me taking the initiative to take certain steps in His direction, which I have not. I've been feeling just so incredibly distant from God lately, and last night during my Bible study, God gently reminded me that we needed to accept that the "honeymoon" was over, and that He and I were at a place where the rubber meets the road.

Now this is a concept I am completely foreign to. I've always been a very selfish person, and continue to struggle against putting myself first. And when it comes to relationships, I expect them to grow without any effort on my part. But maybe my relationship with God would be a bit stronger, a bit healthier and more robust, if I began to look at it that way.

But now I know what it feels like to give up. Now I know what it feels like to have all the life drained from you and to not resist it. It's not a good feeling. It's a very sickly and death-like feeling. And depression arrives on its wings. Is this the valley of the shadow of death?

Labels: God's Word, marriage, this is me before

posted by Marcian @ 10:08 PM