Okay, one more post
I needed to clean. It was getting bad. I can look at a kitchen sink full of dishes for only so long.
So I put on Job.
It was so refreshing, and much like the exhortations I have been reading from my fellow bloggers, it was absolutely necessary.
Especially from Elihu. What wisdom and discernment from this young man. What humility in his speech. It left my heart praising God, and repenting for my selfish, bitter thoughts of late. Despite the blessings all around me, which come only from the hand of God, and the hedge He has quite obviously placed around me, I was still discontent. How sad.
Just today I was almost T-boned by a van running a red light. He stopped maybe fifteen feet from the side of my car. I couldn't NOT think that God was holding that back. He could have just let the man keep going, continuing to ignore his obviously red light. He could have let the brakes fail. It could have been a large flat-bed truck instead of a work-van.
I am hedged in by a good and gracious God. All glory and honour to HIM.
Balance
I am currently "officially" MIA for the board exam monday morning.
However, this thought crossed my mind (again).
Balance. Is it really possible? And if so, is it really a good idea? I hear of a LOT of people trying to reach it (no one is ever maintaining, if you ask me), but no one ever seems to find it. And as a believer, there are
some things that just SHOULDN'T be balanced. Let's see, can I find a healthy balance of sin and holiness in my life? See what I mean?
Let's take this test for example. I took off 1.5 days of work (plus two weekend days) to study study study. I really don't think I could possibly be adequately prepared without taking such drastic measures. I plan to do the same for the remaining two tests after this one. Some things just REQUIRE throwing EVERYTHING off that HINDERS.... is this starting to sound familiar? I'll let you all fill in the blanks amongst yourselves. I need to get back to "architecting". (my word)
*click* *click*
Good Bye, Office Chair
I will see you Monday afternoon, post-state-board-exam. So don't go anywhere.
By the way...
Daniel nails it on the head
with this one.
Starbucks
star'-buks: French for "I prefer to drink my calories, thank you."
The sum of the matter
During times of personal trial and tribulation, where the flesh and the devil (and occasionally the world) launch heated and incessant attacks, there is a collection of books of the Bible which bring it all into focus for me.
Job, Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes.
When I am tempted to disbelief, to turn away, I remember God's admonishment to Job. My own right hand cannot save me, nor can I look at a man and humble him. I am reminded that I am made of the same dust as everyone else (though perhaps of a harder-headed variety).
When I am tempted to despair, I read the Psalms and beg for repentance, for only the Lord grants repentance. When my own heart refuses to soften, and I am in despair of my own limitations and sinfulness, I cry out to the Lord for mercy, that He would NOT abandon the work of His hands.
When I am tempted to make foolish choices, to believe foolishly, I read the Proverbs for admonishment.
And when I must be reminded that God meant what He said in Deuteronomy, I read Ecclesiastes, which holds the valuable words of an old man looking back on his days through the grid of the command to fear the Lord always and keep His commands. Oh, that I could be so wise one day.
[Ecclesiastes 12:11-14]
11 The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one Shepherd. 12 Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them. Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body. 13 Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
An Open Letter
To all Squirrels at River Legacy Park,
PLEASE STOP running in front of my bike tires! I know you think it's funny, but I DON'T! You scare the living daylights out of me! You have hundreds of acres; please leave me and my eight feet of concrete in peace. Besides, is it really worth risking death or dismemberment for that one last acorn on the trail? Could we exercise a little bit of temperance maybe?
Signed,
The Management (sort of)
A subversive moment
My coworker has picked up 3D rendering on the latest AutoCAD suite like a duck takes to water. He sent me his wireframe image for me to work on in Photoshop. While we're still working the kinks out of the logistics (as in, I don't want to have to fill every nook and cranny with a different layer), I was struck with the idea that every rendering I've ever done in Photoshop is lit with a kind, prosaic blue sky and happy trees. But what if we presented a NEW kind of rendering to our client? A more REALISTIC one?
I am pleased to present to you "Projects on the Plains." It'll be a smash hit.
A Thanksgiving Post
Many people in the blog-o-sphere have been blogging about what they're most thankful for. Some have been diligent enough to list something every day. Now, I could certainly fill an entire calendar year with things to be thankful for, but I'm going to pick just one that has been on my mind lately.
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; -Ephesians 2:8
Faith. What a gift! I marvel many days at my own faith. It cannot possibly have originated from within me and have remained so strong. If I were to be truly honest with myself, my own fickle nature would have moved on by now. My doubts would not have been resolved if I had looked within my natural self to resolve them. Moment by moment He sustains my faith, urging it onward through the encouragement of the saints around me, and by the reading of the Word and the reading of the works of the saints who have gone before me (John Bunyan comes to mind here).
O how helpless I am without faith, for without faith it is impossible to please God [Heb. 11:6]. Without God, it is impossible to please God, for he is the author of our faith [Heb 12:2]. Considering that, how could any of this be about ourselves?
He is amazing
My God made
all of these.
AND
He calls them by NAME!!!
Let's just get this over with, shall we?
I already scheduled my next exam for December 3rd, Monday morning.
Maybe I really
am insane.
I feel oddly inspired to study, however. Self-applied pressure. There's nothing quite like it.
Update
I have pinpointed the problem. I am doing too much.
Work is gearing up. Again.
I recall my boss asking us all to work overtime a few months ago, and that we'd stop and reevaluate where we are in a few months. Well, a few months have passed, and we've taken on more work. The boss signs the contract; the employees do the time. The upside is that I enjoy my job. Things here could be a LOT worse than they are. But we all get along well, we work well together. The Lord has used this job to teach me many important lessons about work, managing people and projects, and orderliness. I still have much to learn, but I'm now eager to do so, and not a reluctant participant.
That said, it became apparent to me that my free time was being used up by way too many things. Good things. Bible studies. Friends and fellowship. But, the quality was starting to decrease. I wasn't getting anything out of it. I was stretching myself, and the absorption rate to stretch ratio was proportioned inversely. So I dropped a few things, and stopped expecting myself to be available to participate beyond where my capabilities lie. Now, I have one obligation midweek, and I can handle that.
Truly, the base problem with this all was pride. Pride of not wanting to be seen failing (my test pretty much took care of that), pride of not pushing myself beyond what I know my maximum is (because I've done that all my life, it seems).
So I slept 11 hours last night, cooked lentils and quinoa for the first time in what seems like ages and biked in the morning, and canceled plans for last night and tonight. And actually chewed on
Psalm 44 this morning.
Time to start living within limits.
In case you're wondering where I've been of late...
Let your light shine
Being a Christian is difficult. It is hard work.
But the greatest difficulty doesn't involve what they do to me.
Rather, it concerns what I do to them.
Am I making sense?
I am sincerely wrestling right now with pride. Humility. Keeping my mouth shut when it ought to be, and opening it just wide enough to let loose words that bless others instead of harm them, and glorify my God instead of betray Him.
So, in summary, if I don't get a handle on mortifying sin in the flesh (i.e. what I do to them), I won't be able to stand against those who seek to mortify my flesh while in my sin (i.e. what they do to me).
And in all things, cling to the cross. It is the single-most triumphant event. Ever.
Labels: practical theology
