Friday, October 05, 2007

Because it doesn't matter

Marital status, anyway... that doesn't matter.

I just wanted to point out here that when people make mention of how "lonely" I might be because I'm single, they only serve to make me think about it. If I let their comments go in one ear and out the other (which may sound unkind on the surface) I come away the better for it.

When I'm at home late at night, I'm quite un-lonely. I have no real awareness of my need for social interaction on a day-to-day basis, and when I'm fellowshipping with a group of believers, I come away realizing that I actually NEEDED it. But when I'm home at night, I don't think of going out.

I do remember when I was younger, I would be plagued with thoughts of "where will I go tonight, even if it's in a restaurant booth by myself, just so I'm not lonely". That phase has quite completely vanished.

I am so convinced that it ought to be the last thing on my mind.

I'm ALSO convinced of two more things:

1. Desiring something temporal doesn't mean one will ever get it.
2. NOT desiring something temporal doesn't automatically preclude one from ever getting it.

To postulate otherwise is nothing less than voodoo, and dangerous. Does that make sense? Didn't Jesus make a point to promise TWO things? Food and clothing. He will take care of our physical needs. He never said "I will fulfill all your desires", but rather "I will meet all your needs". Both spiritual and physical. This earth is not our home.

The ONE desire to pursue, the ONE desire that WILL be fulfilled, is the Lord. Get your joy from Him. I can substitute ANYTHING in that list of "but I also want ______". A different job, to have a book published, to work on developing sustainable and affordable homes, to leave EVERYTHING behind and plant myself in a foreign country for the gospel completely and utterly dependent upon God for support, etc...

Seriously now. Desire God. Desire His Word. Desire prayer. Desire sanctification. Desire edification of the saints, the body. Lift up the sovereignty of God, declare the glory of God, and desire to see Him face to face at the end of this long and arduous journey home.

Because NOTHING ELSE matters.

I will probably come back to this. Right now, I'm headed to Oklahoma. Bye, y'all.


At 12:27 PM, Blogger Baptist Girl said...

Hi Marcian,
Thank you for sharing that.We are never lonely with Christ in our lives, He will never ever leave us. I remember back before I was saved, I had friends always around me and yet I still felt lonely. Now I Know I am never alone because if the one and only true true friend is always with me.


At 4:53 PM, Blogger donsands said...

Thanks for the inspiring words. Your rewards in heaven will be many. i look forwrad to seeing so many of my brothers and sisters being commended by our Savior and Lord on that Day.

Cristna, you made me think of:

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

Have a great Lord's Day.

At 11:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm single too and I don't get lonely, however, my mother came to live with me 10yrs ago and I enjoy her company. I can say that because Christ is our all in all He will help me through the dark time when He calls her home and I am by myself. I don't imagine that it will be a bed of roses for He has called us to take up our cross and follow Him, but He has promised to never leave nor forsake us. I should spend this time getting to know Him more and more. He should be the one to whom I turn no matter whose around. I thank you for this post. It is one which pulls you up sharply and asks you where your first love is.

At 12:35 AM, Blogger Matt said...

I don't think loneliness would be so much of an issue for you while you're still young.

Single life is fun. When I think about being single now (at age 27), it seems great. But I'm guessing it probably wouldn't be quite as fun at age 60.

At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God hasn't promised us fun in our lives. If we do have fun, we must count it a blessing from God. But if we have trials and tribulations we must also count those as blessings from God which will draw us closer to Him. As Psalm 23 says, we eat at His table in the midst of our enemies. This is a great blessing to learn from our Lord Jesus...a far greater blessing than having fun which only has temporary blessings.

At 9:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, you are all better people than I. I'm married, and sometimes I get overwhelmed by a sense of loneliness.

The reality is that even with Christ in our lives, we can experience loneliness - just like even with Christ in our lives, we can be sad, in despair, angry or any number of other things.

I'm not discounting the fact that He will never leave nor forsake us, and that the Holy Spirit does indeed inhabit us, but my gosh - God is the one who created us as social beings. In Gen 3, God Himself says it is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him. Um, it was God who invented marriage.

So, to desire to find a partner and be married isn't sinful. Where do you think that desire comes from? It is God's design.

Now, does He call some to remain single? Sure. But even if He does, does that mean you're in sin or something if you experience loneliness? I think not.

I would venture to say that it is sin if/when that desire (as any desire) becomes the end in itself, which would be idolatry.

Marcia, I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. Something about all this just struck me though. Maybe I'm off the mark.

I just hate to think anyone would feel guilty over the fact that they experience loneliness. That's absurd. I would also hate to think anyone would feel the need to hide behind a facade of "I'm not lonely. I have Jesus." You know - to think they have to put up some kind of brave or even arrogant front.

At 10:17 AM, Blogger Marcian said...

I would venture to say that it is sin if/when that desire (as any desire) becomes the end in itself, which would be idolatry.

This was what I was getting at. I would get very lonely when this was my goal, and not God. Once the sin of idolatry was firmly dealt with, the loneliness that comes from feeling as though I'm going "without" went away.

I hope that clarifies what I mean.

At 8:57 PM, Blogger jazzycat said...

Enjoy being single while you are single. There are advantages to each, so take advantage of the advantages, which I believe you are doing..........

At 7:08 PM, Blogger Annette said...

Nothing else does matter. Doesn't mean that nothing else matters. :)

I remember well my single days. The days of being ever so contented with my life. Being able to volunteer without considering others. Being able to just do stuff.

I remember the SHOCK, the absolute SHOCK that my friends experienced when I met my are still in shock, I was such a contented single person.

But wow...marriage (aged 36 at the time)... challenges me, changes me, shapes me into a better person, God gave ME just the right person. (his mom was shocked too!) :)

So yeah... nothing else mattered but God...but still...nothing else matters but God and how he has shaped and changed my life.

Still blows me away sometimes. :)


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