Saturday, August 16, 2008

At six this morning the alarm went off. It's Saturday, and I'm excited about getting up. I'm working on photos for Jenna's site. I couldn't be more thrilled. But it hasn't always been this way.

See, depression. It can snarl one's schedule into something resembling a plate of hamburger meat. It's physically painful and emotionally dulling. And yet, the pain is a good thing. It's there to tell us that something might be wrong. Dreadfully wrong. And it was.

Without going into too much detail (because I have work to do) I must say that I have learned a few things about life from this episode, a few being that vigilance is key, and that talking to one's self might actually be a sign of sanity, and not the other way around.

See, I used to be suspicious that I was living life based on reactions. Especially emotional ones. Which would shock anyone who knows me, because they know I'm not overly emotional. But it seems my emotions find a way to assert themselves. As in being the impetus for my actions, making me a very impulsive person. I learned that keeping an eye out for these emotional impulses and then talking myself out of them are very important in life.

Sometimes, depression needs to be talked out of its cell, coaxed out. Cajoled with a few words of truth that act as tiny points of light in this otherwise impenetrable dungeon. This is a very helpful exercise, this talking to one's self.


At 10:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good! Then I am very sane indeed!


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