Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Men as trees, walking

[Mark 8]
Leaving them, He again embarked and went away to the other side.

14And they had forgotten to take bread, and did not have more than one loaf in the boat with them.

15And He was giving orders to them, saying, "Watch out! Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod."

16They began to discuss with one another the fact that they had no bread.

17And Jesus, aware of this, said to them, "Why do you discuss the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet see or understand? Do you have a hardened heart?


19when I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces you picked up?" They said to Him, "Twelve."

20"When I broke the seven for the four thousand, how many large baskets full of broken pieces did you pick up?" And they said to Him, "Seven."

21And He was saying to them, "Do you not yet understand?"

22And they came to Bethsaida And they brought a blind man to Jesus and implored Him to touch him.

23Taking the blind man by the hand, He brought him out of the village; and after spitting on his eyes and laying His hands on him, He asked him, "Do you see anything?"

24And he looked up and said, "I see men, for I see them like trees, walking around."

25Then again He laid His hands on his eyes; and he looked intently and was restored, and began to see everything clearly.

26And He sent him to his home, saying, "Do not even enter the village."

This is Chapter 3 in Spiritual Depression, and this is where I am right now. I see men as trees, walking. I do not see clearly yet, but I am no longer blind. Or am I? I would say that yes, in a way, I am still blind.

I think in such a linear fashion. Blind or not blind. Some things are ones and zeros. Some things occur incrementally. For me, I believe my knowledge and understanding of certain important truths is occurring incrementally.

However, I do understand a few things. First, there is a war being waged within my own soul. Should this have ended at the moment of conversion? No, only in full view of the war did I then find myself on one side or the other. Second, I am dealing largely with pride. Pride is the greatest downfall of anyone, and should be an enemy worth sounding off all alarms for. And I pray that they have all been sounded. Third, I do not see clearly. I do not understand fully. I am quite like the disciples asking if the Lord said what He did because there was only one loaf of bread. Finally, I do understand that humility is essential. It is essential when dealing with pride. It is essential when admitting to the Lord and to others that I do not see. It is essential for joy, otherwise I will depend on my own abilities to bring joy into my life, and that is not possible.

But the bottom line is to know Jesus, to love Jesus first. This can only be had by deep study of the scriptures with the purpose of an intimate knowledge of Him, knowing Him as much as we can as mortals of an infinite Being.


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