Saturday, May 03, 2008

Back in February, my church hosted a conference, the Sola Conference, In Christ Alone. I ordered the CDs of all of the sessions, and I'm listening to them today as I'm cleaning the place before my trip.

My mind is drifting to the books on my shelf about history, the Reformation, the reformers and Puritans... I'm thinking about the books I'm reading at the moment. And I'm thinking back again about the reason I do this.

If I'm reading these books with any other love in my heart than for the truth of Christ, I am only gathering facts and knowledge that are otherwise useless. Unless I regard Christ highly, adore Him supremely, and love Him wholly, I may as well close the books and use my time for my own personal gain.

There is no middle ground, is there?

But this introspection is not occurring in a vacuum of sorts. It just seems that with the tests over, I feel a bit not myself. I feel like I need to grab a hold of something for a bit of stability. That depressive feeling I used to get after our final jury of the semester, and I'd walk back to a quiet dorm of students who had either gone home for the semester or who were studying for their finals. And there was nothing more to look forward to than packing. No concerted goal. But this is a place I want to explore a bit further. No long term goals. Well, maybe a few, but these goals are never to be arrived at, only to be pursued until the day I die, knowing their attainment will only be grasped when I see Christ face to face.

But that's it.

Maybe I'll work on that book idea with Jenna this summer. Architecture and weather. I've been scoping the internet, and so far, no results have revealed that anyone has tackled my ideas yet. Maybe I'll pursue that in my spare time? Or maybe not. We'll see.

As I was recounting to a friend earlier, I can't remember the last time I had to go out and find something in life. Everything seems to find me. Rather, God orchestrates everything. So maybe it is time to enjoy watching that orchestration and start praising Him for it.

Proverbs 16:9


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